Third Quarter 2004 Adult Sabbath School Lessons:
"Religion in Relationships"

Insights to Lesson 2:
Honor Your Father and Your Mother
July 3-9

(Produced by the Editorial Board of the 1888 Message Study Committee)

“Blessed are the poor in spirit for they shall inherit the kingdom of God” (Matthew 5:3).

Accepting our dependence upon someone like God or parents is not easy. Our natures are bent toward self-serving, and society reinforces it. We lament the breakdown of morals and values, but too often feel helpless in stemming the tide. What is worship, and how will it make a difference not only in society but in our personal lives as well?

The church has one job that no other institution can address. That job is to worship God, and to instruct its youth in the ways of worship. This responsibility is challenging because it involves the personal transfer of a set of values (God’s law and character) in a world that claims the freedom where people can do as they please.

When faced with the people’s rebellion at the Tower of Babel, to set God aside and create a world according to their own ways, our Heavenly Father responded by calling Abram into a special relationship. Abram answered that call to follow God wherever He led him. This act of obedience was only part of the charge God gave Abram. In Genesis 18, when God was forced to deal with Sodom and Gomorrah, He said:

“Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? . . . For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (vss. 17-19).

There are two important items to take note of in these verses. First, God’s character--what things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report were to be taught to all. Second, God’s intention that parents be the medium through which their children are instructed in the ways of the LORD. This places parents in the position of a type of priest, like that of Christ, who came to reveal the Father to us all.

God could have found other means to transmit His ways to us, but he chose parents. To me this is significant. Our Father did not just give us the Bible and say, “Read it and you will be tested on it.” Instead, He placed it in the context of a relationship that naturally has a strong bond of affection. Children come into this world dependent upon their parents for everything. Good parents love their children and would sacrifice everything for them. What a perfect environment to teach values and the ways of worship and respect!

Yet the most astounding element of this arrangement is that this instruction requires “face-to-face” interaction. This process is not just telling a child what to do or not to do. A parent must face his/her child and truly dialog with the child--dialog that includes difficult questions and challenging answers. Without a real give-and-take conversation, the heart of the child will not be won. Mere conformity is not enough to stand the test of character.

Realizing the need for social interaction and reasoning together as the primary means of instructing children in the ways of the LORD, it becomes readily apparent that honor and respect must characterize this special relationship. There will be no learning without it. Thus, when we read the commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother,” we acknowledge that parents are ordained by God to show His ways. If we don’t respect those who teach us, we will not learn. But it goes much deeper than that.

If a child refuses to honor his instructors, just as Adam and Eve who chose to not honor God in His instructions, he will cut himself off from the relationship that in so many ways defines him. In essence, a person who disregards this honor and respect loses himself and is faced with going it alone, like Cain (see Genesis 4:13, 14). Such alienation describes the feelings of so many who do not know the love of God as He intended it to be. Furthermore, we must not forget that the death our Savior experienced on the Cross was not so much the physical abuse, but the overwhelming feeling of abandonment by God that is truly the wages of sin. This separation from God is the heart of the results of not honoring our parents.

On the other hand, if we honor those who have been called to represent Christ in teaching us His ways, not only will we learn righteousness, which will be a blessing in itself, but we will also be in the close relationship that constantly supports and defines us.

Many may question: “What if my parents have not been good representatives of God?” Unfortunately, this is too often true.

Once a young boy was detained by the Youth Authority. A pastor met him and led him to Christ. The pastor began to recite the Lord’s Prayer, but was abruptly stopped. The boy said, “If God is like my father I want nothing of Him.” The pastor quickly asked a few questions and then they began again by saying, “My Heavenly Probation Officer . . . ,” the only person with whom the boy had an honest and supportive relationship. The pastor had grasped the two elements of God’s instructions. He had shared the gospel and introduced the boy to a new way of life in Christ, but he also recognized the need for a parent for the boy to honor and respect. Without an "elder" the boy could be beyond redemption.

One final question: How would the 1888 message, as given to E. J. Waggoner and A. T. Jones, affect this process differently than the way we would usually approach this topic?

• Agape: Clarifies God’s love for us, and is the basis for our response to Him.

• The Two Covenants: By understanding God’s promises and our response, the usual barriers, such as “I’m not good enough” or I can’t be that way,” fall away

• Nature of Christ: Reveals to what extent God will go to reach us, and reveals the way to reach others.

• Legal Justification: Reveals God’s grace to uproot the effects of abandonment (wages of sin).

• Corporate Repentance: Broadens our view that we are all connected in sin (apart from God) so that we may be more merciful. Shows that we are all connected in Christ so that we will be able to see the need to reach out to everyone.

• Cleansing of the Sanctuary: Reminds us that the whole process of salvation is not just to close the books on sin, but restore us to that perfect relationship God originally created for man and woman--face-to-face with God, naked but not ashamed!

Motivation for Learning is Found in Respect

Respect is a two-way street (Ephesians 6:1, 2):

• Children obey.

• Fathers don’t offend.

Why we need our older generations (Judges 2):

• They have seen and experienced God’s work.

• They are our connection to our roots as a family and to our heritage.

• They represent the values that make us unique as God’s family.

• They represent the authority and station of God to us.

Bottom line: “Be ye holy, even as I, the LORD, am holy” (Leviticus 18).

—Robert Van Ornam

Read the study notes for lesson 3