FIRST QUARTER 2026
SABBATH SCHOOL INSIGHT #12
MARCH 21, 2026
"LIVING WITH EACH OTHER

 

“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one” (Colossians 4:6, NKJV).

This week’s lesson dives into the uncomfortable arena of how we relate to one another in close proximity and in our most intimate personal relationships, both in the family and in the workplace. In both cases people with varying dispositions and backgrounds are brought together with people whom they did not necessarily choose either as friends or associates. The same could be said of the church.

Left to ourselves, we might never have selected as friends those individuals with whom we live, work, or worship.

By nature, we tend to gravitate toward those with whom we share common interests, faith (or lack thereof), socioeconomic status, age, and ethnicity. When we run into relational challenges with friends, it’s not always easy, but it is possible to move on.

In the family the stakes are much higher. Married couples can divorce, but children cannot divorce their parents, nor can parents divorce their children (though either can abandon the other). Employees cannot always distance themselves from irresponsible, difficult or dishonest coworkers.

All around us we see (and perhaps have experienced) wrecked marriages and ruined families.

Jesus said, “In the beginning it was not so,” explaining that Moses allowed for divorce due to “the hardness of your hearts” (Matthew 19:8).

What gospel principles apply in marriage, family and work relationships?

Counsel to wives:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as fitting in the Lord,” (Colossians 3:18, see also Ephesians 5:22). This text may be one of the most misunderstood in all Scripture to the degree to which it is used as justification for inflicting or enabling emotional, physical, or sexual abuse within the intimate confines of marriage. Was this God’s intent?

Alcohol, drugs, pornography, and a thousand other evils are ruining marriages and families. The cycle of trauma bonding (look it up if that term is unfamiliar to you) traps many in a highly addictive but repugnant relational dynamic. Does the admonition for wives to submit to their husbands support this cycle? What does the Bible say? The admonition to submit is coupled with a caveat: “As fitting in the Lord,” or “as to the Lord.” When husbands beat their wives or abuse them emotionally, they are simply revealing the character of the god they worship. This is not the love of God.

The Bible teaches that “We ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). If there is a conflict between husband’s demands and the Lord’s commands, the wife is to obey the Lord “rather than man.”

It is unfortunate but true that many marriages are not governed by the heaven born principle of agape love. But wherever this principle is understood and lived, whether by husband or wife, the effect on the unbelieving spouse will be salutary. “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband” (1 Corinthians 7:14, NKJV).

“For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church: and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 2:23).

The blessing that comes from heeding this counsel is that costly mistakes may be avoided. Eve did not consult with Adam before eating the forbidden fruit. If she had, he would have advised her not to eat of it. Too late, the deed was already done. To avoid future tragedies, the Lord in His mercy admonished wives to be subject to their husbands.

The definition of the phrase “subject to” (Gr: hypotasso) is expanded upon as follows: “This word was a Greek military term meaning “‘to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader’. In non-military use, it was ‘a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden’”(Blue Letter Bible commentary on biblical usage of “subject to”).

Counsel to husbands:

“Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:24-27, NKJV).

The role model for husbands is Christ, “who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works” (Titus 2:14, NKJV).

In today’s world, “love” is fickle, changeable, and selfish. By contrast, “The Lord appeared of old to me, saying: ‘Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you’” (Jeremiah 31:3, NKJV).

God does not hold us accountable for how others treat us, but we are held accountable for how we respond. When treated unfairly, Jesus did not demand his rights. Instead, he admonished that “Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two” (Matthew 5:41, NKJV).

The universal solution for every troubled relationship is to behold Jesus on the Cross of Calvary, suffering a death He did not deserve, inflicted by a people He had come to save. Paul said, “For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified” because he recognized in this “the power of God for salvation for everyone who believes” (1 Corinthians 2:2, Romans 1:16, NKJV).  

 

~ Patti Guthrie